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Sep 14, 2017 in Psychology
Aggression is a motivated destructive behavior, which contradicts norms and rules of existence of people in the society, doing harm to objects of attack (animated and inanimate), bringing physical and moral damage to people or causing a psychological discomfort in them (negative experiences, a feeling of intensity, fear, depression, etc.). Children can have the most different reasons of emergence of aggression. The emergence of aggressive feelings is promoted by some somatic or brain diseases. It should be noted that bringing up in a family plays a huge role from the first days of a child's life.
The sociologist M. Mid proved that when a child is quickly separated from a breastfeeding, and communicating with mother is minimized, such qualities as uneasiness, suspiciousness, cruelty, aggression, egoism are formed at the children (Connor, 2004). On the contrary, if there is gentleness in communication with the child, the child is surrounded with care and attention, these qualities do not develop (Connor, 2004).
The way of punishments, which are usually applied by parents in reply to the child's anger manifestations, has a great impact on formation of his/her aggressive behavior. In such situations two methods of influence can be used: either condescension or severity. Both gentle parents and excessively strict ones have equally often aggressive children (Aronson, 2005).
Researches showed that the parents, who were strongly suppressing aggression at the children, contrary to their expectations, did not eliminate that quality. On the contrary, they grew it, developing in the son or the daughter an excessive aggression, which would be shown even in mature years (Hudley, 2008). Everybody knows that the evil is generated only by the evil, and aggression — by aggression.
If parents do not pay attention to aggressive reactions of the child at all, he/she starts considering soon that such behavior is permitted, and single fits of anger develop imperceptibly into the habit to behave aggressively.
Only parents, who are able to find a reasonable compromise, a "golden mean", can teach the children to cope with aggression (Kinberly, 2013).
Almost in each group of a kindergarten, in each class of a school, at least one child is found with the signs of aggressive behavior. He/she attacks other children, teases and beats them, takes away and breaks toys, uses intentionally rough expressions, becomes a "thunder-storm" of all children's collective, a source of chagrin of tutors and parents (Kinberly, 2013). It is very difficult to accept this obstinate, pugnacious, rough child such as he/she is, and it is even more difficult to understand him/her.
However, the aggressive child, as well as any other child, needs in caring and help of adults, because his aggression is, first of all, a reflection of internal discomfort, inabilities to react adequately to events occurring around him/her.
The aggressive child often feels outcast, necessary to nobody. Cruelty and indifference of parents leads to violation of the child and parents' relations and inspires confidence in the soul of a child that he/she is not loved. "How to become loving and necessary" is an insoluble problem, which faces a little child (Craig, 1998). He/she looks for the ways of drawing attention of adults and contemporaries. Unfortunately, "these searches do not always come to an end as tutors, parents and the child would like to, but he does not know how to do it better" (Craig, 1998).
Craig describes the behavior of these children in the following way:"The aggressive child, using any opportunity...seeks to anger the mother, tutor, contemporaries. He will not calm down until adults get extremely angry, and children start fighting" (Craig, 1998).
It is not always obvious to parents and teachers what the child wants to achieve and why he behaves like that, though he/she knows in advance that he/she can receive a repulse from children and punishment from adults. Actually, it is sometimes only a desperate attempt to become the leader. The child has no idea how it is possible in a different way to fight for a survival in this strange and cruel world, how to protect him/herself.
Aggressive children are very often suspicious and watchful; they like to blame others for the quarrel, started by them. For example, playing in a sandbox, two children fought. Nick hit Bob. Nick sincerely answered the tutor's question why he had done so: "Bob had a shovel in hands, and I was afraid very much that he would hit me". According to the tutor, Bob did not show any intentions to offend or hit Nick, but Nick apprehended this situation as a menacing one.
Such children cannot often estimate their aggression. They do not notice that fill fear and concern in people around them. They, on the contrary, seem that the whole world wants to offend them. Thus, "they live in a circle: aggressive children are afraid of people around and hate them, and those, in turn, are afraid of them." (Hundley, 2008).
The emotional world of aggressive children is insufficiently rich, "gloomy tones prevail in a palette of their feelings", a number of reactions even on standard situations is very restricted (Aronson, 2005). They are most often protective reactions. Besides, children cannot see themselves clearly as they are an estimate adequately their behavior. Thus, children often adopt aggressive forms of behavior at their parents.
It is possible to allocate three main sources of destructive behavior:
- a feeling of fear, mistrust to the world around, which menaces safety of the child;
- a collision of the child with not fulfilling his desires, ban on satisfaction of certain requirements;
- assertion of the child's personality, territory and finding independence.
Thus, it is important for parents to teach the child not to suppress but to supervise the aggression; to defend his/her rights and interests, as well as to protect him/herself in a socially acceptable way, without harming the interests of other people and doing them harm. For this purpose it is necessary for the parents and tutors to understand, first of all, the main reasons for aggressive behavior of the child in order to eliminate them.